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Monday, February 1, 2016

Poppy's Tardy Yuletide Time Travel Enigma

I was awakened from deep meditation by an unusual sound. Vintage Western Electric telephone outrang my snores. I picked up: "Poppy, is it you?"
"Uh huh. Yes Geo., I need some advice."
"Poppy, you know I don't give advice --only suggestions--so we'll do this by the book."
"Ok (sniff)."
"Now, what is the nature of your temporal enigma?"
"I don't quite know. I'm not sure."
"Alright, where are you and when are you?"
"I'm in London. It's 1905."
"And what are you doing there?"
"Well, I was monitoring and sort of assisting Nellie Bly's 1887 journalistic effort,  'Trying to Be a Servant: My Strange Experience at Two Employment Agencies'."
"On view-screen, please Poppy."
"Ok, Geo. Here:"
"Yes, I see you Poppy."
"Then I tried going uptime 23 years to see how things turned out."
"Standard procedure. I believe the first labor exchanges in the UK opened in 1910. Good job!"
"Thanks, but there's a problem."
"Again, please describe the nature of..."
"Oh shut up! Look!
"Gosh, you're five years short and kissing Santa Claus. Tell me about it."
"Well, it's still February first but only four years short. Santa  --at least I think he's Santa-- had a problem in 1905."
"Poppy, I am all attention."
"Oh, I met him when he came down the chimney in the house I rented. He said his reindeer were stolen from the roof top. We fell in love. Then..."
"Poppy, I'm a bit surprised. Time travelers aren't supposed to get quite so involved."
"What should I do? Can you fix this, Geo.?"
"Hmm, perhaps. Is  he there? Is he with you now?"
"Uh huh."
"Put him on the phone."

"Hello?"
"Hello,  uh sir, I am Geo. and would like to ask a couple questions."
"Of course, but only two questions?"
"Two should suffice. What color are the eyes of your missing reindeer?"
"Blue."
"Hmmm. What color were their eyes six months ago?"
"Goldy-yellow, sort of."

"Thank you, Santa. Please get Poppy back on the line."

"Poppy?"
"Yes, Geo."
"Poppy, he's the real deal. I suggest you take him to Yale in New Haven, Connecticut, 1851, where a student author, whose name is given only as A. B., writes of the appearance, at a Christmas party, of  'that jolly... old elf, Santa Claus... and... Mrs. Santa Claus to help him.' That is the earliest reference I can find to his female companion." 

"We're on our way."
"And Poppy, do send me some sign of your progress."

There was a slight pause, then this appeared on the view-screen:
Only a true resident of the Arctic would so readily supply the little-known differences in reindeer eye-color from winter to summer. And of course, temporal regression to 1851 allowed all concerned to circumvent the theft of that magical team. From 1851, Poppy and Santa lived happily ever after --and even after that and, of course, before as well. Good thing, too --I like getting presents.