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Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Rocket Racer, A Toybox Adventure

Rocket Racer was speeding through outer space. He was on a mission.  

I was retrieving illegal bottle-rocket (also known as roofburners) remains from my property. They were on my house, barn, pumphouse --all over my property.  We hicks are sensitive to such things because we are surrounded by hundreds of acres of dry fields and stand guard at our farmgates until 2 or 3 a.m July 5th.  But across the road, 900 acres were sold 15 years ago to developers --who still flap overhead on their leathery wings in the depths of night. Who moved in there? A lot of nice people, definitely, but also a lot of incautious 20-somethings in shorts and t-shirts --to show off their beer-guts-- whose July 4th directive seems to consist of validating the Red States' opinion that California is populated by idiots.

Norma Normaphotoed me this afternoon after I raked the final spent roofburner off the pumphouse. Note temperature (100F) on door sill thermometer . 
At that moment, Rocket Racer landed in my left hand. Little pilot popped the hatch and asked if we could talk. I said "Sure" and brought him indoors to the kitchen sideboard.
"My name is 6." He said,  " I have been entrusted with a message from the planet Kaboom."

Geo.: I'm familiar with Kaboom.

(But it occurs to me that some readers are not, without having read 2 previous essays clickable here, anywhere among these blue words )

6: My message is, the people of Planet Kaboom --on behalf of all sentient explosionoids and gunpowder-based life-forms-- wish emphatically that you not blame them for recent explosions in the state of California or any other regions of the continent that are composed mainly of kindling. 

Geo.: Oh, there's no danger of misunderstanding, 6 . The detonations in question are only eruptions of those who feel passion for God and Country and can express themselves in no other way. Incidentally, is 6 your real name?

6: Let's not bring up old issues.  As to identity, you're welcome to click here and learn about #6  but that's another issue. As to Country, it will proceed if informed by reason and discussion. As to God,  it's not a question of humans believing in Him or not, but the severe reservations He's demonstrated about humans.

Geo.: I think it's time I took you outside and let you return to your interplanetry duties.

6: Please, you seem to have changed into your pajamas --that's a universal sign that a guest should say goodnight.

Geo.: Goodnight, 6, and give my best to the Kaboomians --shall we step outside?

6: Yes, let's.

 


18 comments:

  1. Love the universal sign that guests should go bye-byes...
    Sigh on those who usurp Kaboomian privilege to express their patriotism. And the amount of beer consumed.

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    1. Thanks, EC. Kaboomians, like most sentient detonations, are pacifists and celebrate their independence by simply smoldering contentedly. They abhor misunderstandings with other planets.

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  2. Ah yes, Number 6! I loved The Prisoner, thanks for the time tunnel and driving beat. It was enough to make me want to watch the series again.
    As for the Kaboomians-I'm sorry they lack better judgement and respect for their neighbors.

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    1. Tom, as you may have surmised, I too am a "Prisoner" fan and wish we had surreal and enigmatic tv series to compare with it. Much of programming is a bit too grim anymore.

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  3. I hope 6 has a safe and uneventful trip back to Kaboom. People who are fond of pyrotechnics should live near large bodies of water with sandy beaches. That would give their neighbours a fighting chance. There are two occasions for fireworks here...Victoria Day and Canada Day. The evening celebrations go on all week....well into the night.

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    1. Good suggestion, Delores. I imagine we have the same problem with the 1st week of July --dry fields. New Years is safely in winter and Canada Day is in spring, but these summer pyrotechnics --often involving rockets and other illegal stuff-- can be worrisome.

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  4. You are a good ambassador to Kaboom. You will keep relations between us on a friendly basis.

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    1. Thanks, Emma. Given Kaboomian physiology, it's prudent to be friendly but not get them angry or too excited, sort of like skunk encounters.

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  5. Methinks those Kaboomians display more rationality than many of us earthlings, Geo.

    I can strongly identify with trepidation and irritation due to the ramifications of the Glorious 4th. The older I get, the more I think that fireworks should be banned....everywhere.

    When I lived in the Missouri Ozarks (where, at that time, fireworks were banned) the neighborhood kids would aim their bottle rockets directly at my roof. I was in a panic all night long - until the little boogers finally went to sleep.

    Thank Gawd it rained here in TN on the 4th.

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    1. I agree entirely, Jon. We should celebrate the birth of our nation with happy gatherings, orations and art, not destructive fireworks. I know high school bands, churches and gangs depend on fireworks sales revenue, but they could make as much in other less destructive ways --like selling sedatives to children, shoplifting, embezzlement.

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  6. I was just reading the other day that fireworks cause air pollution and can aggravate the conditions of those with asthma and COPD, and have even been named as the direct cause of death in the case of a woman who was struggling to breathe and had a fatal heart attack. They didn't even mention the fire hazard - a large oversight! I like "6" as a name, by jove. The back issues of "Trainride" were interesting as well.

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    1. O_Jenny, thanks for the generous comment. I have worked outdoors most of my life, and developed asthma in my 50s --worked on an asbestos removal crew in my early 30s too. Feel it all keenly now in my later 60s. I am not a fan of wildfires or the incautious people who start them. Best I can do is stay alert while they burn their money in the July evenings.

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    2. Oh heavens - that is like a one-two punch for your lungs. I'm sorry to hear that.

      And wouldn't it be nice if there was more common sense in the world?

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    3. Thanks for concern,kind Jenny, but everybody takes blows in life. Still on my feet!

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  7. There should be a law, but there probably is. My sympathy on your very bad and stupid neighbors. The police should patrol that neighborhood more carefully.

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    1. Thanks, Arleen, I'm afraid vigilance is the only solution. The sheriff's office specified ahead of the 4th that a non-emergency number be called for fireworks violation. They do the best they can.

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  8. When I lived in Southern Utah, I couldn't get over the amount of fireworks shot off for July 4 (and it was even worse on the 24th--Mormon Day), when the hills were all dry and waiting for a spark.

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    1. I hadn't heard about Mormon Day fireworks, Sage, despite my state's proximity to Utah. I learn here. Somehow though, because Joseph Smith lived in what was known as the ideologically "burned-over" part of New York State, I doubt he would've approved of fireworks.

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